love letters as writing samples, the candidate who spoke Pirate, and other tales of amazing resumes

love letters as writing samples, the candidate who spoke Pirate, and other tales of amazing resumes love letters as writing samples, the candidate who spoke Pirate, and other tales of amazing resumes A few weeks ago,  I asked you about the strangest things youve ever seen on a resume. You shared some amazing stories so many, in fact, that I couldnt pick my usual 10, so here are 30 of the best. 1.  A recent applicant for an entry-level office job at the nonprofit where I work wrote in his application, Just Google me. As if I wasn’t already  going to. The candidate did not get an interview. 2. At a previous job we received a 3-page resume that started with a list of accomplishments. One of the so-called accomplishments was Met  Lenny Kravitz. We had a laugh at that, because WTF?! It had absolutely nothing to do with the job or the industry that we were in. And, I  mean, he just met the dude, he didn’t work with him or anything. That’s absolutely not an accomplishment even if you’re trying to break into  the recording business or something! Then we got to the third page of his resume and it was just a scanned picture of him with Lenny Kravitz. We did not move forward with his application. 3.  A candidate listed his part in a play in the 1980s for an office job at a university. He was either in elementary or middle school then. He had no  other acting or theatrical experience. I’m pretty sure it was a school play. 4.  We interviewed a guy for a web designer’s job. His portfolio was quite good, until we came across one of our own websites in there. We  asked him to explain and he said that he put it in there as an example of a well designed website. We didn’t really believe him. He didn’t get  the job. 5.  This was a position aimed at university students. A student applied, and in the application where she had to select an option, instead of using  an X or check mark, she filled in the blanks with hearts. 6.  We had someone with a languages section and they wrote Pirate. We only called because we were desperate and his work was in line with  what we needed. We made him an offer but I’m worried that might have enforced his decision here. We asked about it in the phone screen  and he confirmed that it meant talking with a lot of arrrs.' 7. A college student applied for a summer internship by sending us copies of love letters he wrote to his high school crush as a proof of his  writing skills. 8.  I had a husband and wife apply together for one position, with a single resume. It listed degrees and experience, with dates, but did not  differentiate between spouses. They were working artists and explained they preferred to share a job and decide among themselves who  would show up on any given day. They provided a link to their art portfolio. (The position I was hiring for was not art-related.) I looked and their art involved nude photos of  themselves, digitally combined and altered into sort of amorphous abstracts. 9. A female applicant put “Bachelorette Degree” on her resume and when I called her to screen, let her know of, what I had assumed, was a  typo. She assured me that she did, indeed, have a Bachelorette degree because she’s not a man. Duh. 10.  I got a resume where instead of attaching his resume, the poor guy accidentally attached a letter from his mom telling him to get a job and  stop taking money from his grandfather. He didn’t get an interview either. I still wonder if he ever stopped mooching off his grandpa. 11. I’ve seen quite a few resumes that list fanfic and it’s even worse when it’s fanfic for books that my company publishes. I’m in fandom and  enjoy writing/reading fanfic, but no one is going to hire someone who wrote fanfic for X series to work with that author. It’s a disaster waiting to  happen. There have been a few who have linked to their fanfic and well…….I checked out of pure curiosity (none of them were invited for an  interview). One was a really great author. Another had some of the more hardcore kinks fandom loves (and ones that make me  uncomfortable), and I was just baffled that someone would think it’s a good idea to link to their erotica on a resume. 12.  It was the kind of application form where you’re supposed to upload your resume as an attachment, and one candidate uploaded a Word  document that contained one line: Resume available upon request.' 13. Once received a resume that was written in the form of a recipe: 1/2 cup working with individuals on their job skills 2 tsp crisis intervention 3 cups supervising staff That kind of thing. And there were little clip art gingerbread men all over it. And I remember the paper being pink. No actual time spent in jobs  (list of jobs at the bottom), or list of skills. It was up to us to figure out what to what the different measurements equated. 14. One  listed why he left each job. Fired, quit because the boss sucked (yes, that was a reason), but the one that stood out?  Fired because he was in jail for attempted murder. Yeah… we didn’t interview him.  (In the resume, he did note that he was found not guilty on a technicality. Not that he wasn’t actually not guilty, but found not guilty due to a  technicality.) 15.  In the past few months I have seen: â€" excessive use of emojis (more than 0 is excessive to me) â€" put down working my ass off as one of the bullet points for a position â€" a very light resume in the work history section, but a very detailed Karate section 16. When we had an open position that was half-admin-half-research-assistant, one applicant in his late twenties sent a resume that began with  standard education/work history and continued on the 3rd page into a creative writing sample/series of diary entries. The entries covered  every topic from a conversation with his dying grandfather, to his first sexual experience (3rd base graphically described, occurring in a back  room of his parents’ church), to a very flowery description of doing drugs in a field with his best friends. Our office came up with several theories. I half regret never reaching out to him to confirm whether this was a prank, accident, or gross  misunderstanding of the job posting. 17. I once got someone who listed World’s Best Grandson under awards. He was the winner in 2003, and then again from 2006-2008. I  contacted him to come in for an interview (this was a part time call center job), but he didn’t answer. I was slightly disappointed, because his  resume cracked me up. 18.  I once received a resume that contained a photo of the applicant. It was a formally posed shot of him standing in front of a bookshelf holding a  book and looking thoughtfully into the distance. The same resume include a series of quotes about him from people he knew (think the kind of  blurbs you find on book jackets). Unfortunately for him, I knew some of them as well and they confirmed they hadn’t either said those things or  given him permission to use their names in his resume. 19.  I once received a resume that was fairly normal, along with a cover letter that was written as a ransom note (all the letters and words cut out  of different magazines). I think the intent was to show creativity and humor, but it actually just felt a little creepy. No interview. 20.  The strangest was a resume started off with the usual stuff like name address, etc. Then he states male with defined brown beard with a few  gray hairs. The resume then continued on like a normal resume. If it wasn’t for that line he totally would have gotten an interview. 21. Instead of stating I was a stay at home mom and now I’m returning to work one woman listed it as a job. But also listed it as if she was talking  to a 4-year-old. Something like this: The Smith Household 1/1/13 to forever Mommy to the best children in the world *care for two amazing kids I love so much *pay household bills for my wonderful family *grocery shop to provide for my loves 22.  I will never forget the time we were hiring for a research assistant and indicated a preference for bilingual English/Spanish speakers. One  applicant’s cover letter included: I’m not bilingual or bisexual (that I know of).' 23.  I hired for 15 years for professional healthcare positions. Some of the memorable ones: â€" Honorable mention certificate from a high school science fair â€" 3rd place finish in a karate tournament in 7th grade â€" Bikini photo of candidate â€" Photo of candidate posing with firearm â€" Photo of applicant posing in a bar saluting with a neon-blue cocktail while wearing a stethescope around her neck â€" Related: doc who had IN VITO VERITAS as the actual header on his resume (like, I’m an enophile too, but unless you’re applying for a job  in the beverage industry, THAT’S NOT RELEVANT.) 24. I received a two page resume where the first page listed the applicant’s interpersonal skills. In bullet points. The second page had a Work heading, with the note that they would be happy to discuss their professional experience during their interview…but that they were not going  to provide any info on their experience beforehand 25.  I had an applicant give me his entire budget … down to his electric bill and Netflix account, including a line item for the amount he would need to take my girlfriend out to dinner now and again when asked for his salary requirements. 26.  For a professional position in management an applicant sent a resume that was around 9 pages in length. The length was bad enough but the  last several pages were detailed lists of his children’s accomplishments from middle school up until college (recent). Apparently he thought  that demonstrating that he could rear productive and accomplished children said a lot about his management skills. 27. We recently had an applicant who didn’t even send a resume. Instead he attached a headshot and an invoice from a recent eye doctor  appointment. Needless to say he did not receive the position. 28.  The person who treated her resume like a wedding invitation.  The resume itself had been printed on a pearlescent cardstock, with the applicant’s initials set as a watermark in the background in a fancy  script. That same watermark was printed on a piece of (synthetic) vellum laid overtop the resume, for which purpose I’m still unclear. It also  came with a reply card using the same paper finishes / watermarks / font style. Where the rest of the resume was obviously reaching for some  sort of matrimonial elegance, the reply card ended with what I assume was a tongue-in-cheek joke but landed super flat. The options on the  reply card were Yes, we’d love to interview you and will be in touch!, No, but I’ll pass along your resume to a colleague who may be  interested, and my favourite, NO, and don’t ever apply here again! My boss at the time was like, Can I add a fourth option that says This is  a deeply inappropriate way to format your application?' 29.  I think the oddest I’ve seen to date, was a resume cover letter that included a picture of the applicant doing the 70’s action hero slide across  the hood of a car. 30.  And from way back in 2014, because it needs to be included every time this topic comes up: The candidate who listed Birthed four children vaginally with no anaesthetic under Other Experience.'